
My husband Bill and I got married on November 16, 2002 at Virginia Military Institute (VMI) in Lexington, Virginia. It was my first marriage and his second, and we were very excited to by tying the knot after a three year courtship. It was a big day, not just because we were getting married, but because of all the obstacles we had to clear in order to make our marriage happen.
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I met Bill online, so we didn’t actually see each other in person until May 2001. I was a graduate student in South Carolina and he was a newly divorced Army officer posted in Kansas. The Army happened to send Bill to my city in South Carolina on business and we took the opportunity to go out on our first date. Not long after that, Bill was transferred to Virginia, where he started working at the Pentagon. Bill’s move to Virginia made it easier for us to date; I happen to be from Virginia and most of my relatives live there.
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Unfortunately, the world changed the following week. Bill was in the Pentagon on September 11th, 2001, in the area where the plane had crashed. Luckily, he was not hurt, but for many hours on that day, I didn’t know if the only man I’ve ever really loved was dead or alive. When he survived the attack unscathed, we knew we were meant to be together. After some intense long distance but in person dating, we got engaged.
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I chose to have our wedding at VMI for many reasons. Bill is in the military. My father and many family members are either alumni or employees at the school. It’s located in a beautiful little town near where many of my family members live. For eight months, Bill and I planned the wedding, scrimping and saving money to pay for the affair. I was fresh out of school and couldn’t find a job, which made things more difficult.
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We had a rehearsal and a family dinner the night before. Bill was really worried about the wedding, but I had gone into a cool mode. It was a complete role reversal. In the weeks before, I was the one who was nervous about our ceremony. I guess by the night before the ceremony, I figured what was going to happen was going to happen. On the way back to his hotel that night, my husband to be fretted to my future mother in law who comforted him by saying, “Bill, don’t worry. No one ever died at the altar.”
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Finally, the big day arrived. I woke up, looked outside, and it was dark and gray. I got myself to the bride’s room at Moody Hall and my sisters helped me get dressed. By the time it got close to my scheduled walk down the aisle, the weather was looking decidedly grim. Nevertheless, I walked down the aisle as a bagpiper and an organist played “Highland Cathedral”. The man who married us was one of my former bosses who had become a minister. He had traveled all the way from western Kentucky to perform the ceremony and did a wonderful job. My husband’s father stood at his side, serving proudly as best man.
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I listened carefully to what the minister had to say, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw my future father-in-law start to teeter unsteadily on his feet. He leaned on the stage near us. And just as it was about time for us to say our vows, my aunt, who is a registered nurse, rushed up to my husband’s dad to prevent him from keeling over! She was joined by my stepmother in law, who quickly helped the best man to a chair. My husband’s dad had fainted just before we said our vows! My husband immediately recalled my mother in law’s words to him the previous night… “No one ever died at the altar.” But that’s exactly what my poor husband thought was happening!
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For a few tense moments, Bill and I stood at the altar while my aunt and stepmother in law helped the best man regain his composure. The chapel was absolutely silent. Suddenly, I became aware of a clicking sound. I turned my head and saw our rather flighty photographer standing by, snapping photos of my father in law in his weakened, semi-conscious condition. She took several pictures, but then abruptly stopped after taking one shot of me glaring at her through my veil. Granted, our photographer had warned us that she was a photojournalist who would take pictures of EVERYTHING, but I think she got a little carried away in this instance!
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Once Bill’s dad was okay, we finished the ceremony. Little did we know, the fun was just beginning. The weather had gotten nastier and it was storming outside. I was feeling grouchy because I was hungry and itching to get out of my heavy wedding dress. And then I started my period, which I knew would make our wedding night especially “fun”. The wait staff at VMI didn’t seem to want to work. One waitress in particular kept pestering me about when we’d be toasting and cutting the cake. She shooed us out after a couple of hours and my new mother in law didn’t even get to say goodbye to us because the waitress demanded that we clear out the cake and champagne from the refrigerator.
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Once we finally got through the reception, Bill and I spent two nights at The Hummingbird Inn, a charming bed and breakfast in Goshen, Virginia. We were glad to be done with the wedding and enjoyed the inn, except for the train that came blaring through the area in the middle of the night. I think we were more more tired after our ”honeymoon”. I did take away a great idea for making cheese souffles, though. The inn boasted a wonderful cook!
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After the wedding, we waited for our certified marriage license to come in the mail so I could get a military ID and legally change my name. When it didn’t show up, Bill called the court clerk of Rockbridge County to find out what had happened to it. The clerk said that he didn’t have our license, even though our minister assured us that he had mailed it. In Virginia, couples have five days to submit their license or else it’s null and void. By the time we found out the clerk didn’t have our license, we had missed the deadline. The clerk told us that we weren’t legally married, yet we were married enough so that we couldn’t just go to a justice of the peace and have the ceremony done over again. We were in a quandary and the clerk wouldn’t help us. Thanksgiving was coming and Bill was getting tired of dealing with the uncooperative clerk. So he called our local government representative and told him our story, reminding him that he is a soldier who could be deployed at any time. Evidently, the clerk got a reprimand from <i>his</i> representative, because we soon got our license… as well as a nasty letter from the court clerk!
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Nevertheless, we’re still married and very happy. I would marry Bill again any day… only perhaps next time, I’d strongly advise an elopement!
More resources
Virginia Military Institute’s Web Site: www.vmi.edu
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